Turn it Around

(Quick side note: I have had a few people email me about not making comments because of needing a password or account or whatever. I didnt know that was required, I have changed the setting so that it shouldnt be anymore. If the problem continues, let me know, and I will use my sweet gigabyte skills to fix it some more...)

So, just wanted to make a quick note that I am feeling a bit better now. Still not feeling the major excitement about moving to Guayaquil, but still definately feeling encouraged by the radness of my counterpart agency. On the upside, my PC Program Manager understands my concerns (I think, we didnt really talk it out, but I think she knows) and already has plans to be in Guayaquil next week and has a place to look at for me to live. So thats good. Guess who else has plans to be in Guayaquil next week? Me! Yeah, I have a Technical Trip next week, and its in Guayaquil. At first, I was like WTF, why am I going on a trip there when I have to live there? I really want to get out and see more of what this country has to offer! But, on the up side (and I think this is what PC is going for), its good for me to go back and see more of what Guayaquil has to offer. Really, its not that bad. Maybe I am being a little bit of a whiney b!tch about the whole thing and I just need to buck up and grow up.

So I was working on changing my attitude, and feeling less crabby. But then we were having a stress managment workshop (I'll give you 3 guesses at home much Theresa liked to sit in a circle and talk about feelings) and the girl who got assigned to Mascarilla (the site I was most interested in, in case you forgot) said that she felt stress at her site visit when her counterpart told her they wanted someone else. "Ohhh, damn!" we all said, that would suck. Then she turns to me and says, "Yeah, Theresa, they wanted you." WTF!!! Half of me felt super flattered and it was great, the other half felt RAAAARRRR! Why if I wanted them and they wanted me did it not work out? This feels like a messed up love triange! I am getting the feeling that I am going to Guayaquil because I am not some party chick, and they are worried about that. That sucks for me. Being myself got me the city I didnt want. But then I think, remember back, Theresa. Remember back when you signed up for PC, when you got your wisdom teeth pulled for no real reason and ate Jell-O for a week, when you had vile upon vile of blood pulled from your arm because you need to be screed for the HepBc antibody not the HepBs antibody, remember all that? Remember why you are doing this, and stop your b!tching! So that is what I am going to try to do. The barrios seem great, the people seem to want me there, and my counterpart seems amazing. I am going to do my best to focus on that (and the fact that I should have a safe place to live when I return, thats not bad, either).

What else? My Youth and Families group nominated me to speak at Swearing In Ceremony! Pretty flattering, pretty big deal, its at the Ambassador´s House and everything. Did I ever mention that I was picked to eat lunch with the Ambassador a few weeks back? I dont remember, but in case I didnt, it was cool. 6 of us were picked (by staff) to go, and we got to eat really delicious food that we could never afford otherwise. It was fun. And I got to wear a dress, bonus!

Oh! Yesterday on the bus I had a relatively extensive conversation with some girls (age 9 and 11 if I recall correctly) about life in the United States. They had seen the movies Resident Evil and Resident Evil 2, and then basically formed their entire concept of the States around those movies. I dont think that they believed me when I told them that there are not zombies roaming around the streets trying to kill people. They also thought that the news they heard about September 11th was all made up. Granted, they were 9 and 11, but still. Thats a pretty bad concept to have of the States. And on my site visit, I had a heated conversation with a guy (age 21-24ish I think) who is CONVINCED that all black people in the States have guns, are mean and kill each other. Even my pointing out that I am a black person from the States who is not any of these things (well, maybe a little mean, but I think he was talking like "Cap in your ass" mean), I still couldnt get him to believe me that we are not all like that. He was like, "No, I have friends who have gone to the States, and they told me!" The conversation ended with friendly smiles and him giving me the "Pffft, Crazy Gringa" look, but luckly he lives in one of the barrios where I will work, so maybe with time I will get him to change his mind a bit about us black folk in the USA.

Anyhow, lesson learned? A. Dont complain so much. Its not fun to listen to people complain, and no one wants to hear it from me either. Lesson for you all? I know this sounds stupid, but I think it really does matter. When you have contact with people from other countries (really just people in general), please keep in mind that you are creating a stereotype for them. Whether you are trying to or not, whether you like it or not, you are. No one likes to admit that they form stereotypes, but we all do it. When we are unfamiliar with something, we turn to our models of those things to form our opinions about it. And whether you like it or not, you are a model for Americans, for college students, for doctors, for social workers, for therapists, for women, for men, for whatever. So think about what stereotypes you are setting for the people who are watching you.

...Oh yeah, and watch out for zombies.

Paz Afuera! (Peace Out!)
Theresa

PS. I finally talked to my big sister today, and she asked me to be the Maid of Honor in her wedding! Wooohoooo!