Im Tired of the Beach (And a story about lesson learned)

(I wish to inform you that this post demonstrates an excessive use of paranthesis. I appologize in advance...hahaha. I am so full of tangents.)

I know, I am totally spoiled. Seeing as how my homestate of Wisconsin got stomped with snow this summer while I sweated away in 80-plus degree heat everyday, you would think that I would aknowledge how lucky I am that I am going to the beach this weekend for the third weekend in a row. The other day I was hanging out with one of the Mujeres and she was looking through my digital camera at the pictures. She kept asking: Whats this? Where are you here? Whos that person? She, in general, asks a lot of questions. So I'm telling her about the various places I am in my camera: Thats my first apartment in Guayaquil. Thats me with my host family in Tabacundo. Thats on the drive between Guayaquil and Quito, Riobamba maybe? Thats a waterfall in Zaruma. Those are my friends in churches in Cuenca on the Day of the Dead. She marvelled at my photos (none of which are all thaaaat interesting. You can see them for yourself on my photosite) and she said, You know more parts of Ecuador than I do. I asked if she had ever been to Cuenca, or Quito and other parts of the Sierra. She said, No, she has only been here in Guayaquil and to the beaches around Guayaquil.

I journaled about this last night. I dont know if this is a middle class American thing, but I feel like one should try to get to know the country that they live in. Then I thought about my clients back home, the vast majority of whom are low income Americans, and I guess that they dont spend their money on travel either. But then I thought that they also dont have cars, and at least to the extent that I understand it (again as a middle class American), public transportation around the United States is more expensive (relatively speaking) than it is in Ecuador. Or maybe I'm wrong and blinded by my middle classness, which is totally possibe. Either way, this conversation got me thinking: is it better for me to take advantage of the fact that I CAN travel around Ecuador? Or is it better for me to do as the Peace Corps credo says and "live at the level of those that I serve"? Well, what it comes down to is that I am not living at the level of those I serve. My living allowance, travel allowance and rent allowance amounts to WAY more money than folks in Calle 8 are pulling in on a monthly basis. So I decided that suffering is not noble (although sometimes I tell myself that it is), and that I should take advantage of being able to get out and see this beautiful country while I have it so easily at my fingertips.

That said, I am totally sick of the beach. About three weeks ago I was informed by the prometora from Calle 8 that they were "wondering where I was" at the meeting at my counterpart agency. I found that odd since it had been several weeks since I had gone to a meeting (because basically the meetings make my head hurt. And they make me go downtown which means that I HAVE to buy an empanada and a cola and that costs money and calories...). Besides that, I see my counterpart person twice a week for meetings with the jovenes, and she never said anything. Anyhow, I find out that I was wanted at the meeting so that I could assit with a trip to the beach with the jovenes that have been participating in the HIV AIDS Project (thats the project that I am actually assigned to work with but I kinda avoid because I avoid all things related to the office....). So I go to the next meeting and theyre like, Yeah, we'd like you to plan some dinamicas (which are interactive learning activities) on teamwork and communication. Perfecto! I think, because I have been planning charlas on that theme for the Mujeres. I told them I would get to work on a list for the next meeting. I show up at the next meeting with my list but, of course, the meeting doesnt happen (have I mentioned that I HATE all things related to the office??). So I show up to the next-next meeting and we do some of the dinamicas--they were basic summer camp stuff like the human knot and trust falls and stuff like that.

Never was I actually invited to the trip, it was just expected that I was coming. In fact, I mentined to my counterpart person that I might be late to catch the bus to leave and she said they would just leave without me. And I was like, Well, if that happens who will do the dinamicas? We'll do them ourselves, she replied. Have I mentioned that I HATE all things related to the office?? ...I dont mean that, I dont really hate her...its just nice to feel wanted, you know. The kid that sat next to me on the bus to the beach made a big show of sighing at how she HAD to sit next to me--I guess I'm not a very exciting busride partner. I see where she was coming from, seeing as how I didnt really feel welcomed to the trip (yet somehow still obligated to attend), I was not all that enthusiastic about going. And I read on buses. Weird! Reading for fun!

So we get to the beach (in a town called Playas, which means "beaches"...creative name, eh?) and I decide to improve my attitude because I might as well enjoy myself. My frustration with the plan for the trip really never ended, however, because it turned out that I was in charge of keeping the kids excited and animated, being called on for wake-you-up dinamicas at random times (most of the time I responded with, Ummm...let me think. Followed by doing nothing...), and two hours of activities on the beach. Well, thanks for letting me know. Everything went fine, though. I mean, the kids were teenagers, so I am not going to fault myself if they weren't excited about everything. But the activities went well on the beach, and I was remined again of how lucky I was as a kid to go to camps and stuff like that and learn fun games like trust falls and human knots and such. And after a serious talk and some serious videos about people living with AIDS in Africa, all the kids were pretty down. I lightened up the mood with a game of ¿Quieres tener sexo conmigo? (Do you want to have sex with me?) which is played like "Honey I love you would you please please smile?" where the person has to respond to the question without laughing. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it, and I was happy to help. Not once did anyone, however, ever say thank you.

Second weekend at the beach was last weekend. I went with some girlfriends to Montañita. Yeahhh....the hippy gringo beach. It was a good time, we dont need to talk about it. By the time I got back home I was totally beached out and had sand in all my pockets and between my toes. I was happy to shower and do laundry and not think about going to the beach for a while.

Then I was informed that the office was "wondering where I was" at another meeting. Damnit! Turns out theres another trip to the beach this weekend! This time, however, I was actually asked to come, in that it was actually aknowledged that my help the last time was a good thing and they would like me to be there again this time. And my counterpart person actually said, "Well, if you dont come, who will do the dinamicas?" And I thought to myself, hmmm, that sounds familiar...So back to the beach I go. The theme this weekend is the media. I dont really know where we are going with that but I am interested to see where it takes us. In my opinion, the media here seems to be more interested in The 3 D's: Death and Double D boobs. Front page news almost always includes a picture of a bloodly corpse and a half naked lady. I am interested in what will be said over the weekend, because I have heard that people here dont find it at all strange, gross or disrespectful. Hopefully my bus partner this time will be more enthusiastic to share a seat with me, hopefully I will mirror this sentiment. Although probably not because we have to leave downtown at 6am....yeah, I'm NOT a morning person.

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In other news, things out in the barrio have been good. I want to tell you a little story about what happened at a charla today.

I am giving a 6 week series of charlas on Communication and Self Esteem to the Mujeres de Lucha. We started two weeks ago, took last week off because it was Holy Week, and had the second charla today.

This week's theme was Group Communication and Teamwork. We did an activity that demonstrated how multifaceted groups (like the Mujeres who work in three different areas, but still have one unified goal) can be especially difficult because members get focused on their area and ignore whats going on in the other areas. Then we discussed why, in general, it can be hard to work as part of a team (like everyone is different and has their own ideas on the best way of going about things, sometimes not everyone is motivated to work, etc.), and discussed why its important to acknowledge both postive and negative sides of group work. And that doing this does not mean that you are being a negative-minded person. We discussed how in communicating with other team members you must do so in the manner that works best for them, not just what works for you (you know "meet em where they're at" kind of thing). Then we did an activity to demonstrate why when working as a team its necessary to plan well and involve all members in the plan and discussion.

Then one of the Mujeres asked of what one should do when they have a conflict with another person in the group? So we talked about how in conflict resolution with team members you should speak directly and clearly with the person that you have a problem with (rather than complaining to all the other members of the group), but do so in a way that makes it clear that its not the PERSON that is the problem, rather the actions of that person. Then she asked what if someone has a problem with me, but they go around and tell everyone else and not me, what should I do? (by the way, yes: this is directly related to an ongoing problem between two members of the group. My goal for my two years is to get these two members to sit down ant talk to eachother) So we talked about "treating others the way you want to be treated" ie if you want them to talk directly with you, then you should demonstrate this by talking directly with them. What if I already did that? Well, change takes time so keep doing it. Then we talked about ways that we can improve communication within the Mujeres de Lucha. We ended with each person making a promise to help someone else in their work area (for instance, the person who cooks in the lunch program promised that she would spend time helping in the store when it got busy), and agreed that we would do these things in the next 7 days and check progress at next week's charla.

So after this wonderful lemon-scented charla on communication, it came up that the Mujeres really enjoy doing charlas with me because they are fun and interactive yet they also feel like theyre getting something out of it. Although I am not from the barrio--I am an outsider coming in to help--they feel like they can trust me and talk openly with me about whatever is going on. They dont, however, feel this way about another "outsider" who assists them and is also currently giving charlas to them (although they do acknowledge that her help is really good and totally necessary to the progress of the group). I was so excited (and no, not just because I am selfish and glad that they like my charlas) because I saw this as the perfect opportunity to demonstrate what we just learned. I asked what could be done to communicate this to the other person? If the charlas with her arent speaking to them, they should explain this (like we agreed, conflicts with group members are best addressed when taken on clearly and directly). "Oh, no, Tere, we cant do that! That would hurt her feelings." We talked this one out for quite some time, I held my ground that the best approach was to just tell her how they felt; they held their ground that the best way was to suck it up, go to the charlas and try to like it.

So I guess with that my own lesson was staring me right back in the face. Change takes time, so keep trying.

Hasta luego my friends!
Theresa

New Thoughts and New Pictures...

But all I have to share at this time are the pictures. Ive spent the last several hours (and SEVERAL dollars) uploading new pictures to my Shutterfly account. Just so that you can look at them! (well, that and so that i can safely delete them from my camera, but yeah, its all about YOU baby!).

There are pictures of work that I am doing out in the barrio: picutres of the Mujeres de Lucha, Art Class with the kids, Kids eating in the Lunch Program, etc. Check em out because they are super cute and super fun!

Okay, promise my thoughts will be coming soon...like, maybe tomorrow because I dont have to work.

Besos,
Theresa