Good thing my battery is rechargeable

So, I got back from my Technical Trip to Guayaquil and Machala, and I have had a change of heart, which is good. First off, I liked Guayaquil far more than I liked Machala...call me a bully for putting others down to make myself feel better, but Machala has got nothing on Guayaquil.

We were on our trip for a week, and we totally busy every single day, I will try to keep it short. In summary, we gave a butt load of charlas: Self esteem Charla to an all girls school in Machala, HIV-AIDS Charla to a parents group in Machala, Nutrition Charla to a school in Guayaquil (my personal favorite day of the whole trip! Super fun kids!), Environmental Edu. Charla to a youth group in Guayaquil. We also observed a current Guayaquil volunteer giving a hip-hop dance class to some jovenes (youth) she works with (obviously, I loved that part!), and received a charla on Youth Leadership from some jovenes in Machala. Overall, people, it was a pretty rad week. It was EXHAUSTING: We were so busy, everyday was so jammed packed, and I came down with a case of the gripe (Ecuadorian word that basically means the common head cold, nothing serious), so the day to day was pretty tough, but really, this trip is exactly what I needed.

Heres the thing, I was about on the verge of packing up my shit and heading back to the States. I know that sounds drastic, but I think I really lost sight of why I was here. I kept trying to talk myself back into it, to blog myself back into it, but try as I might, I was over it. We are in training, and the week before the Technical Trip was a Technical Training week (as opposed to Language Training, which is what we usually do during the week). Everyday, we learned about a new kind of Tech Training: HIV-AIDS, Migration, Human Trafficing, Community Banks, one topic after another after another after another. Then after learning about them, we were assigned charlas to put together and present to the group. Then we sat through each charla and learned about the topic over again. I cannot express in words how much I did not enjoy this... And really, I dont know why. Normally, I like the Technical Training days. I think I started to think, "God, is this really going to be my life for the next 2 years? Did I really leave my comfy apartment in safe little De Pere, WI to live in this crazy large city and be a workshop giving machine? AND be poor on top of that?" I was ready to go, kids. I was trying to convince myself to tough it out through training, but I was just tired. I dont know how else to describe it.

But then we went on the trip. Part of what saved me was giving these charlas to real people. That was definately a needed change. But more than that it was the PEOPLE. As a totally-jaded- early-burnt-out-recovering-CPS worker, I think I forget that there are people out there who are motivated to better themselves and the worlds around them just for the sake of doing it. Not because I said they have to, or because the judge threatened them, or because their Probation Agent will put them in jail if they dont, or whatever. But just because they want their life to be better for themselves. It sounds so simple, but I think I forgot that existed. Now, dont get your American undies in a bunch, I am not even trying to say that this does not exist in the States, or that it didnt exist on my own former caseload, because I know it did. I think I just needed a reminder, a little refresher of sorts.

You should have seen these kids: We are giving a charla on nutrition based on the analogy that a healthy body is like a strong house--good construction, good energy and good protection (hello analogies, I love this charla!). But really, the info was not all that interesting. We basically just listed elements of a house that fit under each of those catagories, and then listed foods that fit in those catagories. But these kids! They were so excited to do it! They had a blast coming up with parts of the house, and an even better time telling us all about what kinds of foods they like and what they can make with the different food products. Seven rounds of food-item bingo was like the greatest thing ever to them! Then we spent the next 2 hours teaching eachother games and playing the games. I guess I just forgot that existed...sounds horrible, I know, but being in a "classroom" for so long and learning about theories without having any actual practice, I dont know, it just stopped clicking for me. But the kids brought it back.

Also, my true saving grace was seeing the other volunteers at work. What they were doing was really pretty simple: giving a dance class, giving a leadership workshop. But the way that their jovenes gravitated towards them and wanted to learn, and wanted to share, and just WANTED. That was what I needed. I needed to see that all these concepts we have been learning about are actually based in reality. I guess its like one of my very wise social work professors once said, that no matter what we end up doing, we should always keep one hand in direct practice. All the theory and policy work is great, but for me, I need real people.

So folks, I think I am back. Or at least I am climbing back up the hill after being down in the dumps for a bit lately. Oh, and about my housing: problem has been solved. I have a new living arrangement, and my boss says that its so nice that she would live there (and she´s pretty bougie, so that says a lot). At this point, I cannot wait to get to Guayaquil and start working!

Lessons for this entry...I dont know. I learned that I need to keep myself around real people who are motivated for the sake of being motivated. And I need to get the hell outta training...

peace! (and sorry for the rambling in this entry...sheez!)
theresa