People, Projects and Things

I have been in Ecuador for almost one year. My one year mark will actually be spent in the United States, because I am going there shortly for a "vacation." That being said, I feel like how most Peace Corps Volunteers probably feel at this first-one year anniversary (first because we have 2 anniversaries, 1 year in country and then 1 year at site). I feel analytical. I travelled up north recently for my one year medical exam. While there I learned that I have lost at least 30 pounds since I arrived in country, and have managed to avoid any serious ailments (including cavaties, parasites and STDs...not like I'm promiscuous or anything, but I am human, and 50% of people living with HIV in Ecuador live in my city, so you know).

I was, however, sick with food-something-yuckyness the day I left for my medical exam(Friday). I ate some bad crab meat, went to work in the barrio the next day, and left about an hour later (after 2 trips to the baño...). The Mujeres sent me home with Alka-Seltzer and lemons to make me feel better. I took the Alka-Seltzer only because they were so worried about me, otherwise I'm anti-meds on those kinds of things and would rather just wait it out. Anyhow, the Mujeres called me that afternoon to check up on me, and again the next morning to make sure I was feeling 100% better. The next Wednesday when I returned, they told me that they were super worried about me because they have never seen me sick before. Not like I have never had a case of the food-something-yuckyness before, but I usually stay home for the day and am back the next day so they know I am okay. On that Wednesday I also reminded them that I would be leaving for the States in about a week. They were bummed, but excited for me to get to see my family and friends. Their number one concern was when my plane back to Ecuador was getting in so that they could meet me at the airport, "With balloons! And a big sign that says 'Welcome Tere!'"

Anyhow, that side tangent will make sense in a minute, just bear with me...

While on my trip I met a volunteer who is completing his 2 years of service, but has decided to extend service to a new site for the next year. He proclaimed shortly upon meeting me and a bunch of my other PCV friends that he as "the best site in Ecuador." Well, congratulations to you, buddy, but my site is pretty cool, too. He works on a community garden project at his site, and appearantly it is a very big garden and very well recieved by the community. He informed us that said garden project won a national award, and that he plans on winning an international award also about this fantastical garden project he has going. His major concern is that he is leaving, but he has requested a volunteer to take his place. He is, however, beyond concerned that this new volunteer will not live up to his expectations. He wants a volunteer who will keep the garden going (he, of course, will train this volunteer on how to do just that); a volunteer who always takes initiative to start new things; who sees a room full of dusty books as not just that, but rather as a youth reading group just waiting to happen. How will he ensure that the new volunteer is living up to his expectations? Well, besides his plan to hand-pick this volunteer from the new training group and to train this new volunteer himself, he also plans to make near-weekly phone calls to his community to check up on the new volunteer. He followed all this up by saying, "Not like I want to scare off the new volunteer, but I just want to make sure they are doing a good job." I said, "Thank God I already have a site, because I would kill myself if I got assigned to your site." "Well, you are not the kind of volunteer I am looking for, then."

Thats right, I most certainly am not.

This volunteer had lots of ideas about what makes a good volunteer. Number one on his list appeared to be a willingness to purchase things for people in the community. He has fully funded 2 families with gas stoves during his service, and paid to do so out of his PC allowance. He also believes that a good volunteer would never have money left at the end of the month and would never spend their money on frivolous, personal things, but would rather donate all extra money to random people on the street who ask for handouts. Finally, he shared with us his theory of what is messed up about Peace Corps: the priorities. He was outraged that a high-up administration person in PC Ecuador had recently admitted that, ultimately, PC service is about making the US look good, not about the success of projects that the volunteer does. I tried to remind this volunteer that all three of the major PC goals are, essentially, about image: showing other countries what well meaning Americans can do to help them; other countries learning about Americans; Americans learning about other countries. No where does it say that the point it to make a community garden (or help with a lunch program). Well, he informed me, thats just wrong.

Is it? For me its not. I'll be honest with you: if the lunch program failed I would be devestated. I worry endlessly about how much money we are and are not making in that program, and wait in fear for the day that the Padrinos drop out again. I constantly wonder what I can do to help the program more (outside of tossing money at it, because I personally dont believe in tossing money at people as form of helping them). I am a bit bummed right now because school is back in session, therefore my art class with kids has pretty much fizzled out. I get bummed when I plan a charla and it doesnt work out. Thats because I take pride in the work that I do. However, I know that at the end of the day, at the end of my 2 years, all those things are just a song and dance that I am doing while I am doing the "real work." A big part of the reason why I wanted to come to Ecuador (outside of the inner reasons about "finding myself"), was because I really dont like the way that America and Americans are seen by the global society. Its an image we have brought upon ourselves, obviously, but its reality. People think Americans are greedy, selfish, violent, uncaring, rich and war-driven. And some Americans are, but this one is not (well, I can be quite greedy and selfish, but not in the way that I am getting at here...). I wanted to show people that there are Americans that go to other countries not to spy on them, not to sell them things, not to bomb them, not to hurt them in any way. Just to hang out, get to know them and help them out with whatever they are doing. Thats why I am here, I am just helping out...if it doesnt work out, that really sucks, but the people I work with will still remember that there was this American chick here once, and she helped us just for the sake of helping.

So, getting back to the side story about me getting sick....thats what I want at the end of my service (and I am not taking about food-something-yuckyness, cuz I have had enough of that!). I would love for another PCV to take over my site when I leave, I think that would be really beneficial to the Mujeres and the community. I dont, however, really care if that PCV is down with giving art classes, charlas on self esteem, and helping to manage the lunch program. In fact, I think it would be cool if the PCV was into repairing TVs, gardening, and environmental education. Or whatever! I love my community, and I want them to see that there are good Americans out there...some of them like to teach art to kids and really care about food insecurity, but some of them are totally unlike this American Tere they know. What I want at the end of my service is to have a group of people in Ecuador that care when I eat bad crab and am not feeling good. I want people that want to pick me up at the airport when I get into the country. I want people who will say, "This one time, this American came out of the blue and she really helped us." Thats what I want, project success or not, thats what Peace Corps is about to me.

(In the other volunteer's defense, I should note that he was drunk at the time. Hopefully hes a cooler person when sober...)

(I will also take this time to remind you to read this page's disclaimer about these thoughts being my own personally, and in no way reflecting the view of the Peace Corps...yaddayaddayadda)

See you soon...
Tere