Leaving on a Jet Plane: Pt 2- Culture Shock?

I go through check in, its so much faster than it ever is in the States! I call my mom with the new plane information. I put on a (3rd in 3 days !! That’s what happens when stupid boys at the club don’t tell me that they use a different cell company than I do!) $3 saldo card on my phone so I can text all the people who asked me to let them know when I am getting on the plane. I go to the coffee shop near the gate. $3.95 for a white chocolate mocha, $3.00 for a humita de queso?!? Ouch! Is that pain in my side what they call culture shock? ‘Cuz it hurts me to pay so much for a freaking coffee and humita! Is this how much things cost there? It’s only been a year and I already cannot remember. I buy it anyhow: hey, I’m hungry AND I’m on vacation, right? And besides, the servers are polite, listen to what I am ordering without interrupting, don’t try to extra-grande-size my drink, and bring the food to me even though I’m sitting just a few feet from the register. I go to the bookstore, they don’t ask me to check my bag when I walk in. Weird. There’s a photo book there called “Un Dia Como Hoy en el Ecuador” (A Day Like Today in Ecuador). I want that book! But I am too afraid to even ask how much it costs. I go to the bathroom-do we still throw the paper out, or do we flush here? I’m struggling (not with bowel movements, don’t worry), should I act like I am in Ecuador, or should I act like I am in the States since we seem to have switched to American pricing standards and social rituals? Or am I just confused because its airport prices and standards? There’s a basket by the wall, I toss the TP in there.

There are gringos everywhere! They’re those (no offense) annoying, crunchy granola eating, wearing shoes that are meant to look rugged but cost a fortune (like those shameful, waste-of-freaking-money Chacos of mine!), Panama Hat, wrinkle free pants, Galapagos Islands and Mitad del Mundo t-shirt kind of gringos. They’re laughing, Ahahahaha!. Talking, Oh! It was so nice to meet you! Oh we will see you again! Oh you must come and visit us in New York!

I cannot stand the sound of their voices. I think I got just got shocked again.

The airline is boarding my flight now. I send the mandatory Emergency Contact text messages, text a couple PCV friends, the landlord (and remind him to have his maid wash down that milk outside!). I text an Ecuadorian friend, I text the Mujeres. I turn off my cell phone (sad face). The safety warnings are starting, the plane starts moving, I can see a bus leaving the terminal across the way (my usual mode of transportation) and I frown. In seconds we are in the air. I forgot gum; I never remember those kinds of things for flights. We are passing the city, I peer out the window: Where’s the Malecon? Where’s my house? I always hear planes passing over my roof. We pass cloud cover. Its just clouds and the plane wing thing in my view now. God, I hope this plane doesn’t burst into flames, I think. I imagine those little death gremlins running out on the wing like on that show ‘Dead Like Me.’ The clouds break, I can see the city again. God, I love Ecuador, I think. There are tears in my eyes, but its just becauseI forced a yawn to keep my ears from popping.

Its cold on this plane! Like there’s an air conditioner or something. We are in the air now, they turn off the seatbelt light. They are coming with the food. I will be in Miami in 3 and a half hours. It feels too easy. Life is always anti-climatic when I am expecting drama. There’s no one sitting next to me. Good, I don’t really feel like chatting more right now. I am wearing my “Peace on Earth” shirt. God, how cliché: a Peace Corps Volunteer wearing a “Peace on Earth” shirt. I don’t want to sit next to any gringos who will ask me about what I am doing in Ecuador, then look at my shirt and smile and laugh to themselves. The flight attendant just gave me a turkey sandwich and a ginger ale. Turkey?? In a sandwich?? And I didn’t even have to pay extra? Now that’s a shock I like getting jolted with! I pick up the “American Way” airline magazine. The cover story is about some Will Ferrell basketball movie. I have never heard of it. I look at the date: June 1, 2008! That was like, 10 days ago! I haven’t read a magazine this current in months! I read an article about Nanny 911 and the likelihood of other TV nannies like Fran Drescher and Charles in Charge. I think I will switch to my month-old, Peace Corps-issued Newsweek about the worldwide hunger crisis. It may be old, but hey, it’s still relevant. (Yeah, that’s right, I said it! I LIKE Newsweek! Take that all you whiney PCVs who made the subscription get cancelled!)

In Miami the arrival gate is THE farthest possible gate from my next departure gate. I decide not to hurry, I am gonna miss the plane and will just deal with it when I get there. The customs line is ridiculous. There is some lady rushing her way through, getting a guard to let her skip. I do NOT want to be that lady. Maybe wherever she’s going is temporary, urgent; but I am going home, and home doesn’t move and will wait ‘til I get there. The customs guy looks at my passport, looks at me, smiles at my shirt and says, “Yeah, that’ll never happen.” Ass, I don’t even validate his comment with a response. Pessimist. I missed my plane, I swear I got to the gate on time, but whatever. The lady who was rushing through customs was supposed to be on my flight, too. She’s ranting and raving about missing the plane, wanting to call the manager (the manager of American Airlines? Come on lady!) and yelling at the desk staff that its THEIR fault she missed the plane. The check-in staff told her she would make it if she ran, and she RAN! When she leaves one of the gate-staff says in a timid-English not as his first language-tone that they are not there to abused and he does not understand why people act that way. He asks if I was on the flight from Guayaquil. “Si,” I respond-realizing that I am speaking in Spanish and should probably switch to English. He asks if my plane was late. “No,” I say, “but the gates were super far apart, and I just didn’t make it in time, no big deal as long as I can get on another flight.” He tells me that the lady wasn’t even transferring flights, she checked in here in Miami, late on her own accord, and is now pissed at the staff for her own mistake. As if gate-staff has any control over what check-in staff says, as if it’s anyone’s fault but her own that she missed her flight! Immediately I think, God, I hate America. Then I remind myself that someone of any nationality could have been just as much as a jerk as that lady, right?

I get a new flight to Chicago. Almost home, except, oops: Planes are not leaving Indiana because of rain, so the plane my flight is supposed to load onto is stuck in Bloomington. Whatever, I think as I make my way over to the magazine stand, buy an Elle magazine and a bag of Lays chips (chips that don’t taste like peanut butter! Yum!). I take a seat and get to waiting. The gate gets changed, SIGHS from everyone waiting. What’s the matter? Isn’t them changing the gate a good thing? Doesn’t that mean that they are trying to arrange a new plane for us? Whatever. At the new gate I take some time off from the Elle magazine to do some people watching. There are countless men in business attire and argyle socks. Most people are intently starting at their Blackberry thingys, poking at ‘em with that little plastic pencil thingy. Others are rearranging meetings with someone on their cell phones. My cell phone does not work now that I am not in Ecuador, so I cannot even text my friends. Not like I have anything important to say, but still, texting is fun: just look at everyone else doing it! I get all panicky realizing that my ex could be getting on this very plane, back from some very important business trip. I bet he has one of those Blackberry things with the plastic pencil thingy. I mentally promise myself that I will never own a Blackberry (it’s not the first time—I used to make that same promise in court rooms when snotty lawyers busted theirs out to rearrange hearings, as I frantically scribbled things out in my dayplanner). There is a young couple in post-vacation clothing, the girl is sighing loudly about once every 5 seconds, as though that’s going to change anything. No one is striking up random conversations with strangers next to them about how they work in imports and exports and don’t want to leave their girlfriend who is several years their junior. I’m sad. I miss Ecuador already. I miss social rules where you share your life story with strangers. Its so annoying to me sometimes when I am there, but right now I just want to tell some random person all about the Mujeres de Lucha and my youth group. No one asks, no one cares.

The plane finally leaves, about 3 hours behind schedule for a 30 minute flight. Asi es la vida. My luggage is late, its on the next plane coming in (hopefully) and will be here (hopefully) in an hour. I call my mom, and get to waiting. I overhear some lady and her grandson complaining to the baggage claim lady about how their baggage is late, too. Like she has any control over it! She walks past me and rolls her eyes in their direction. I take a seat and start chatting (finally!…wait, didn’t I NOT want to be chatting?) with an older couple sitting next to me about what they are doing in Milwaukee, what I am doing there, where we started our journeys today. Their daughter comes to pick them up. She tells me she has “always wanted to do something like the Peace Corps.” My mom comes, she does this funny-excited-speed walky thing when she sees me. We hug. Finally, I am happy to be home.

We go to the grocery store to get tortilla chips for Mexican dinner (my favorite!). “What kind of tortilla chips do you want?” my mom asks. What?!? There’s at LEAST 25-30 different kinds. I’m struggling again. I’m overwhelmed. This is going to be a long 3 weeks.