Before we get to the story, let me add that I turned 25 on Monday! Happy Birthday to me, to me, to me! haha. Did you know that in Ecuador they sing the Happy Birthday song first in Spanish and then always followed by the English version? I dont think that most people even know what they are saying, but they sing it all the same...I was serenated by both the staff at Applebees in Quito and by the Mujeres de Lucha. Good times. The best birthday wish I got? From my little sister who posted on my Facebook wall: "Feliz Navidad sista! Hope you had a fiesta fantastica!" hahaha! Clearly she doesnt always know what the words in songs she hears mean, either....as in "Feliz Navidad...I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart." Ohhh, too funny little sis. Feliz Navidad to you, too.
So what does a Peace Corps Volunteer do for her 25th birthday? Well, this one went out dancing one night, had a party with the Mujeres de Lucha another day, went to dinner with friends a couple of times, and oh yes, gave a charla about homosexuality in Ecuador. Ahhh, duty calls.
The newest Omnibus 99 arrived in Ecuador in January, and now they are just getting set to head out to their sites. They are the Agriculture and Habitat Conservation Groups, so you know, their PC life is gonna be just a liiiittle bit different than mine is. Nonetheless, their training site is the same place where I used to live: in Tabacundo (lindo de mi corazon, eres la tierra de mi pasión). As a member of the PC-Ecuador GLBT Interest group, I was invited to give a charla about homosexuality in Ecuador along with a friend of mine from the group. I took the night bus up to Quito on Sunday night so that we would have Monday (the day I became a quater of a century years old) to plan. Yeeeaaaah...she has a tv so instead we watched movies and dvds of The L Word. But I mean, hey, watching The L Word is sorta like planning a GLBT charla, right? So yeah, the charla didnt end up getting planned until basically the morning of the charla, which was the next day. No big deal because we were just replicating the charla that was given to us several short months ago when we were eager to learn trainees.
So we head out on the bus to Tabacundo. I wanted to stay awake and alert so that I would see my old surroundings coming in around me again, and relish in the beauty that is the sierra of Ecuador. Instead I fell asleep on the bus...oops. When we got there, I called my old host family. Heres the thing--I have done a real crappy job of keeping in touch with those folks. And its not because I dont love them, because I do love them. They are wonderful and absolutely the best host family match for me and I wouldnt trade them for the world. The problem is that keeping in touch requires a skill called "small talk." Thats something I have always stuggled with, and it doesnt get any prettier in Spanish. I did text my host sister once to tell her that I was reading all the wonderful things that I had written about her in my journal and that I missed her. But then she didnt call me back. In fact, they have called me no more than I have called them, which is not at all. So then I didnt feel so bad, you know?
So anyhow, we get to Tabacundo and I call the host family, ask for Sra. Carmen. A man answers the phone...shit...its Don....Don...Don, shit! How can I forget my own host fathers name?!?! I'm like, Hi! Its Tere! How are you?? And he's like, Teresita?? I dont believe it! How are you, how have you been, how long its been since I have seen you, how is everything, how do you feel? Awww...did I ever mention how my host dad asks a minimum of 5 "how are you doing" questions at the beginning of EVERY phone conversation? Haha, I love that man. So we get to talking and he's like, We thought we would never hear from you again. Youre in Tabacundo? Where? Since when? When are you coming over? My wife and the kids will be home later today. I feel this immediate rush of happiness and nostalgia and wonderfulness and missing my host family like crazy. I tell him that I have to give this charla to the new group, but I will come over shortly after that. They have a new host daughter in the new group, he asks if I know her? (ps, at least as it relates to Peace Corps, in Ecuador the general assumption is that all gringos know each other). I say no, but I will look for her during the charla. After I hang up it hits me: Cesar! Don Cesar is his name! Man, Im an idiot.
Yay! So they dont totally hate me for not being the wonder-gringa that their last host daughter was who called them once a week and visited like once a month. And it seems like they want to see me, too, which makes my heart smile. So I head back over to the meeting site for Omnibus 99, and immediately one of the PCTs comes running up to me and is like, Oh my God! I was so excited to see you! I figured she was one of the girls who I had talked with online before they got here. But no, she thought I was a friend of hers from home. Haha. Funny how many people I look like. Anyhow, I find the new host daughter for my host family and introduce myself.
Then we get going on the charla, and all in all, it goes well. Well, I mean really, the main part of it totally crashed and burned because it based on a lie and they didnt really go along with it (kinda complicated to explain, but just trust me it didnt really work out). So I was like, heres a PC Lesson: Sometimes charlas dont work out. Haha. Then we had a productive discussion on how to improve the charla to do in their sites, their worries about doing a charla on such a hot-button issue like homosexuality, talked about intergrating into your site first, etc. Really we had a good little chat, it was fun. There are also 5 people in their group that are from Wisconsin, and they enjoyed my (still)very Wisconsin accent. It was really fun being the person who came to visit the new group. I remember when I was in training and all these random PCVs came in and gave us charlas and we (or at least I) were in such awe that they actually live all alone in this country and enjoy themselves and manage not to die. In case you dont recall, I totally fucking hated training, so it was always such a major refresher to see real life volunteers. Its a lofty goal, but I hope that maybe one of those 99ers was like, Dude, that Theresa chick was cool and is doing some cool work and I hope I become a cool volunteer like she is. Ahh, dreams. I did end up meeting a girl who had read my blog...so in case shes reading this now: Hello! Good luck at site!
So after the charla I ended up continuing to be a crappy host daughter and did not go out and see my host family. I just ran outta time because I went to coffee with some of the new group and we were chatting and I felt bad bailing out on them. But I went back out the next day. I got off the bus (I stayed awake this time, and yes: the sierra is still way prettier than the coast) and I was like, crap! How do I get to my house?? I lived in Tabacundo for 10 weeks, and I get back there and feel immediately lost. Then I took a deep breath and realized I knew exactly where I was and walked home. Im pretty sure I saw my host uncle in the paper store they own, but I didnt stop to say hi because I couldnt remember his name (although Im sure he doesnt remember mine either) and because that would result in the dreaded small talk game. I get to the house, open the front gate and walk up to the door. A car drives up behind me and a guy says "Who are you looking for?" and Im like, Eeeee! My family is here! (it was my host dad, I recognized his voice). We all hugged and headed inside and they took my bags and sat me down at the table.
For the next several hours I kicked myself over and over again and wondered what the hell had kept me from calling them all this time. I mean, its been SEVEN MONTHS! And believe me, they reminded me of it. My host mom even joked that they thought maybe I was just ungrateful. At least I think thats what the word meant...and I was like NOOOO! I think about you all the time, Im just not good at calling. Turns out they had my phone number wrong, so the ball was all in my court and I totally didnt pick it up. They were full of questions about my life in Guayaquil, my work, and how I am adjusting. They (I, we all, everyone) were very worried when I went to site because I was so completely terrified at the prospect of living in Guayaquil. I assured them that all was well, that I was living in a nice house with a nice landlord who also lives on the same plot of land. They said they were really glad that I was safe and happy. My host sister said shes glad I have a place and now she can come and visit me! Yes! I hope she meant it! We talked about the difference between life on the coast and life in the sierra: how I was shivering cold now in Tabacundo because I had gotten used to it being 90 degrees out everyday. How men on the coast stand around with their shirts lifted up over their beer bellies on the side of the road. How Guayaquil is totally crazy and practically its own little world. How I talk weird, fast, slurred coastal Spanish now, instead of the slow, clear sierran Spanish. And as we spoke I realized how much I have grown up since I was in Tabacundo. I dont know that I have really matured (well, maybe I have...) but I am certainly more myself now than I was then. Talking with them came so much more naturally than it did when I was in training. And being myself was less of an effort, as well. I think as I spend more time here in Ecuador Theresa and Tere are becoming more of the same person. Thats a good thing. I dont quite know that we are one yet, but we are getting there.
I also chatted quite a bit (in English and Spanish) with their new PCT. She is really nice, shes 30 and from Florida and her site will be with the Tsachilas (the super cool indigeounous group that I visited during a tech trip waaaay back when). She seems to be real nervous about going to site and being out on her own. Shes still really stuggling with Spanish and worried about that, I told her that when you stop being surrounded by gringo PCTs and are at your site, you have no choice but to learn Spanish. She seemed a bit awed that I was gonna hop on a bus all alone (at night time nonetheless, how DANGEROUS!) and go to Quito and then back to Guayaquil. She said that the other day she took the bus to Cayambe (which is about 20 minutes from Tabacundo) and she was terrified. I tried not to laugh, because I can totally remember feeling exactly that way just a short time ago. I told her that PC tells you a lot of things are dangerous, but when it comes down to it, you gotta just learn to be yourself and live your life here in Ecuador. Following all the PC rules about night buses, sleeping on buses, taking pictures with your digital camera, eating meat sold on the street, eating strawberries, brushing your teeth with the water, all that stuff. I mean, they say it all for your own good, and any one of those things could turn out to be "dangerous" but its worse not to do them, I think. Except for the strawberries: do NOT eat the strawberries.
So anyhow, thats what I learned on my 25th birthday. I learned that keeping in touch is only difficult in theory, and that once you do it feels oh so good (you also get a delicious home cooked sierran dinner and amazing peach flavored Quaker outta it--thats a drink made out of water strained from Quaker oatmeal, my host mom makes it better than anyone on the freaking planet. Ecuadorians think its totally weird that in the States we actually eat the oatmeal instead of straining it and drinking the water. They also refuse to believe that its pronounced "Quake-er" and not "Quwaak-er" hahaha!). I learned that this life I live here is making the different parts of myself more like one whole self. I was reminded of how terrifying it is to be a PCTrainee, and how good it feels to look back on how far I have come. I learned to try to stay awake and watch the view.
I also scheduled a gyno appointment, so it wasnt all good times...haha.
Besos mijitos,
Tere, Theresa and somewhere inbetween
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Im Tired of the Beach (And a story about lesson learned)
(I wish to inform you that this post demonstrates an excessive use of paranthesis. I appologize in advance...hahaha. I am so full of tangents.)
I know, I am totally spoiled. Seeing as how my homestate of Wisconsin got stomped with snow this summer while I sweated away in 80-plus degree heat everyday, you would think that I would aknowledge how lucky I am that I am going to the beach this weekend for the third weekend in a row. The other day I was hanging out with one of the Mujeres and she was looking through my digital camera at the pictures. She kept asking: Whats this? Where are you here? Whos that person? She, in general, asks a lot of questions. So I'm telling her about the various places I am in my camera: Thats my first apartment in Guayaquil. Thats me with my host family in Tabacundo. Thats on the drive between Guayaquil and Quito, Riobamba maybe? Thats a waterfall in Zaruma. Those are my friends in churches in Cuenca on the Day of the Dead. She marvelled at my photos (none of which are all thaaaat interesting. You can see them for yourself on my photosite) and she said, You know more parts of Ecuador than I do. I asked if she had ever been to Cuenca, or Quito and other parts of the Sierra. She said, No, she has only been here in Guayaquil and to the beaches around Guayaquil.
I journaled about this last night. I dont know if this is a middle class American thing, but I feel like one should try to get to know the country that they live in. Then I thought about my clients back home, the vast majority of whom are low income Americans, and I guess that they dont spend their money on travel either. But then I thought that they also dont have cars, and at least to the extent that I understand it (again as a middle class American), public transportation around the United States is more expensive (relatively speaking) than it is in Ecuador. Or maybe I'm wrong and blinded by my middle classness, which is totally possibe. Either way, this conversation got me thinking: is it better for me to take advantage of the fact that I CAN travel around Ecuador? Or is it better for me to do as the Peace Corps credo says and "live at the level of those that I serve"? Well, what it comes down to is that I am not living at the level of those I serve. My living allowance, travel allowance and rent allowance amounts to WAY more money than folks in Calle 8 are pulling in on a monthly basis. So I decided that suffering is not noble (although sometimes I tell myself that it is), and that I should take advantage of being able to get out and see this beautiful country while I have it so easily at my fingertips.
That said, I am totally sick of the beach. About three weeks ago I was informed by the prometora from Calle 8 that they were "wondering where I was" at the meeting at my counterpart agency. I found that odd since it had been several weeks since I had gone to a meeting (because basically the meetings make my head hurt. And they make me go downtown which means that I HAVE to buy an empanada and a cola and that costs money and calories...). Besides that, I see my counterpart person twice a week for meetings with the jovenes, and she never said anything. Anyhow, I find out that I was wanted at the meeting so that I could assit with a trip to the beach with the jovenes that have been participating in the HIV AIDS Project (thats the project that I am actually assigned to work with but I kinda avoid because I avoid all things related to the office....). So I go to the next meeting and theyre like, Yeah, we'd like you to plan some dinamicas (which are interactive learning activities) on teamwork and communication. Perfecto! I think, because I have been planning charlas on that theme for the Mujeres. I told them I would get to work on a list for the next meeting. I show up at the next meeting with my list but, of course, the meeting doesnt happen (have I mentioned that I HATE all things related to the office??). So I show up to the next-next meeting and we do some of the dinamicas--they were basic summer camp stuff like the human knot and trust falls and stuff like that.
Never was I actually invited to the trip, it was just expected that I was coming. In fact, I mentined to my counterpart person that I might be late to catch the bus to leave and she said they would just leave without me. And I was like, Well, if that happens who will do the dinamicas? We'll do them ourselves, she replied. Have I mentioned that I HATE all things related to the office?? ...I dont mean that, I dont really hate her...its just nice to feel wanted, you know. The kid that sat next to me on the bus to the beach made a big show of sighing at how she HAD to sit next to me--I guess I'm not a very exciting busride partner. I see where she was coming from, seeing as how I didnt really feel welcomed to the trip (yet somehow still obligated to attend), I was not all that enthusiastic about going. And I read on buses. Weird! Reading for fun!
So we get to the beach (in a town called Playas, which means "beaches"...creative name, eh?) and I decide to improve my attitude because I might as well enjoy myself. My frustration with the plan for the trip really never ended, however, because it turned out that I was in charge of keeping the kids excited and animated, being called on for wake-you-up dinamicas at random times (most of the time I responded with, Ummm...let me think. Followed by doing nothing...), and two hours of activities on the beach. Well, thanks for letting me know. Everything went fine, though. I mean, the kids were teenagers, so I am not going to fault myself if they weren't excited about everything. But the activities went well on the beach, and I was remined again of how lucky I was as a kid to go to camps and stuff like that and learn fun games like trust falls and human knots and such. And after a serious talk and some serious videos about people living with AIDS in Africa, all the kids were pretty down. I lightened up the mood with a game of ¿Quieres tener sexo conmigo? (Do you want to have sex with me?) which is played like "Honey I love you would you please please smile?" where the person has to respond to the question without laughing. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it, and I was happy to help. Not once did anyone, however, ever say thank you.
Second weekend at the beach was last weekend. I went with some girlfriends to Montañita. Yeahhh....the hippy gringo beach. It was a good time, we dont need to talk about it. By the time I got back home I was totally beached out and had sand in all my pockets and between my toes. I was happy to shower and do laundry and not think about going to the beach for a while.
Then I was informed that the office was "wondering where I was" at another meeting. Damnit! Turns out theres another trip to the beach this weekend! This time, however, I was actually asked to come, in that it was actually aknowledged that my help the last time was a good thing and they would like me to be there again this time. And my counterpart person actually said, "Well, if you dont come, who will do the dinamicas?" And I thought to myself, hmmm, that sounds familiar...So back to the beach I go. The theme this weekend is the media. I dont really know where we are going with that but I am interested to see where it takes us. In my opinion, the media here seems to be more interested in The 3 D's: Death and Double D boobs. Front page news almost always includes a picture of a bloodly corpse and a half naked lady. I am interested in what will be said over the weekend, because I have heard that people here dont find it at all strange, gross or disrespectful. Hopefully my bus partner this time will be more enthusiastic to share a seat with me, hopefully I will mirror this sentiment. Although probably not because we have to leave downtown at 6am....yeah, I'm NOT a morning person.
..................................
In other news, things out in the barrio have been good. I want to tell you a little story about what happened at a charla today.
I am giving a 6 week series of charlas on Communication and Self Esteem to the Mujeres de Lucha. We started two weeks ago, took last week off because it was Holy Week, and had the second charla today.
This week's theme was Group Communication and Teamwork. We did an activity that demonstrated how multifaceted groups (like the Mujeres who work in three different areas, but still have one unified goal) can be especially difficult because members get focused on their area and ignore whats going on in the other areas. Then we discussed why, in general, it can be hard to work as part of a team (like everyone is different and has their own ideas on the best way of going about things, sometimes not everyone is motivated to work, etc.), and discussed why its important to acknowledge both postive and negative sides of group work. And that doing this does not mean that you are being a negative-minded person. We discussed how in communicating with other team members you must do so in the manner that works best for them, not just what works for you (you know "meet em where they're at" kind of thing). Then we did an activity to demonstrate why when working as a team its necessary to plan well and involve all members in the plan and discussion.
Then one of the Mujeres asked of what one should do when they have a conflict with another person in the group? So we talked about how in conflict resolution with team members you should speak directly and clearly with the person that you have a problem with (rather than complaining to all the other members of the group), but do so in a way that makes it clear that its not the PERSON that is the problem, rather the actions of that person. Then she asked what if someone has a problem with me, but they go around and tell everyone else and not me, what should I do? (by the way, yes: this is directly related to an ongoing problem between two members of the group. My goal for my two years is to get these two members to sit down ant talk to eachother) So we talked about "treating others the way you want to be treated" ie if you want them to talk directly with you, then you should demonstrate this by talking directly with them. What if I already did that? Well, change takes time so keep doing it. Then we talked about ways that we can improve communication within the Mujeres de Lucha. We ended with each person making a promise to help someone else in their work area (for instance, the person who cooks in the lunch program promised that she would spend time helping in the store when it got busy), and agreed that we would do these things in the next 7 days and check progress at next week's charla.
So after this wonderful lemon-scented charla on communication, it came up that the Mujeres really enjoy doing charlas with me because they are fun and interactive yet they also feel like theyre getting something out of it. Although I am not from the barrio--I am an outsider coming in to help--they feel like they can trust me and talk openly with me about whatever is going on. They dont, however, feel this way about another "outsider" who assists them and is also currently giving charlas to them (although they do acknowledge that her help is really good and totally necessary to the progress of the group). I was so excited (and no, not just because I am selfish and glad that they like my charlas) because I saw this as the perfect opportunity to demonstrate what we just learned. I asked what could be done to communicate this to the other person? If the charlas with her arent speaking to them, they should explain this (like we agreed, conflicts with group members are best addressed when taken on clearly and directly). "Oh, no, Tere, we cant do that! That would hurt her feelings." We talked this one out for quite some time, I held my ground that the best approach was to just tell her how they felt; they held their ground that the best way was to suck it up, go to the charlas and try to like it.
So I guess with that my own lesson was staring me right back in the face. Change takes time, so keep trying.
Hasta luego my friends!
Theresa
I know, I am totally spoiled. Seeing as how my homestate of Wisconsin got stomped with snow this summer while I sweated away in 80-plus degree heat everyday, you would think that I would aknowledge how lucky I am that I am going to the beach this weekend for the third weekend in a row. The other day I was hanging out with one of the Mujeres and she was looking through my digital camera at the pictures. She kept asking: Whats this? Where are you here? Whos that person? She, in general, asks a lot of questions. So I'm telling her about the various places I am in my camera: Thats my first apartment in Guayaquil. Thats me with my host family in Tabacundo. Thats on the drive between Guayaquil and Quito, Riobamba maybe? Thats a waterfall in Zaruma. Those are my friends in churches in Cuenca on the Day of the Dead. She marvelled at my photos (none of which are all thaaaat interesting. You can see them for yourself on my photosite) and she said, You know more parts of Ecuador than I do. I asked if she had ever been to Cuenca, or Quito and other parts of the Sierra. She said, No, she has only been here in Guayaquil and to the beaches around Guayaquil.
I journaled about this last night. I dont know if this is a middle class American thing, but I feel like one should try to get to know the country that they live in. Then I thought about my clients back home, the vast majority of whom are low income Americans, and I guess that they dont spend their money on travel either. But then I thought that they also dont have cars, and at least to the extent that I understand it (again as a middle class American), public transportation around the United States is more expensive (relatively speaking) than it is in Ecuador. Or maybe I'm wrong and blinded by my middle classness, which is totally possibe. Either way, this conversation got me thinking: is it better for me to take advantage of the fact that I CAN travel around Ecuador? Or is it better for me to do as the Peace Corps credo says and "live at the level of those that I serve"? Well, what it comes down to is that I am not living at the level of those I serve. My living allowance, travel allowance and rent allowance amounts to WAY more money than folks in Calle 8 are pulling in on a monthly basis. So I decided that suffering is not noble (although sometimes I tell myself that it is), and that I should take advantage of being able to get out and see this beautiful country while I have it so easily at my fingertips.
That said, I am totally sick of the beach. About three weeks ago I was informed by the prometora from Calle 8 that they were "wondering where I was" at the meeting at my counterpart agency. I found that odd since it had been several weeks since I had gone to a meeting (because basically the meetings make my head hurt. And they make me go downtown which means that I HAVE to buy an empanada and a cola and that costs money and calories...). Besides that, I see my counterpart person twice a week for meetings with the jovenes, and she never said anything. Anyhow, I find out that I was wanted at the meeting so that I could assit with a trip to the beach with the jovenes that have been participating in the HIV AIDS Project (thats the project that I am actually assigned to work with but I kinda avoid because I avoid all things related to the office....). So I go to the next meeting and theyre like, Yeah, we'd like you to plan some dinamicas (which are interactive learning activities) on teamwork and communication. Perfecto! I think, because I have been planning charlas on that theme for the Mujeres. I told them I would get to work on a list for the next meeting. I show up at the next meeting with my list but, of course, the meeting doesnt happen (have I mentioned that I HATE all things related to the office??). So I show up to the next-next meeting and we do some of the dinamicas--they were basic summer camp stuff like the human knot and trust falls and stuff like that.
Never was I actually invited to the trip, it was just expected that I was coming. In fact, I mentined to my counterpart person that I might be late to catch the bus to leave and she said they would just leave without me. And I was like, Well, if that happens who will do the dinamicas? We'll do them ourselves, she replied. Have I mentioned that I HATE all things related to the office?? ...I dont mean that, I dont really hate her...its just nice to feel wanted, you know. The kid that sat next to me on the bus to the beach made a big show of sighing at how she HAD to sit next to me--I guess I'm not a very exciting busride partner. I see where she was coming from, seeing as how I didnt really feel welcomed to the trip (yet somehow still obligated to attend), I was not all that enthusiastic about going. And I read on buses. Weird! Reading for fun!
So we get to the beach (in a town called Playas, which means "beaches"...creative name, eh?) and I decide to improve my attitude because I might as well enjoy myself. My frustration with the plan for the trip really never ended, however, because it turned out that I was in charge of keeping the kids excited and animated, being called on for wake-you-up dinamicas at random times (most of the time I responded with, Ummm...let me think. Followed by doing nothing...), and two hours of activities on the beach. Well, thanks for letting me know. Everything went fine, though. I mean, the kids were teenagers, so I am not going to fault myself if they weren't excited about everything. But the activities went well on the beach, and I was remined again of how lucky I was as a kid to go to camps and stuff like that and learn fun games like trust falls and human knots and such. And after a serious talk and some serious videos about people living with AIDS in Africa, all the kids were pretty down. I lightened up the mood with a game of ¿Quieres tener sexo conmigo? (Do you want to have sex with me?) which is played like "Honey I love you would you please please smile?" where the person has to respond to the question without laughing. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it, and I was happy to help. Not once did anyone, however, ever say thank you.
Second weekend at the beach was last weekend. I went with some girlfriends to Montañita. Yeahhh....the hippy gringo beach. It was a good time, we dont need to talk about it. By the time I got back home I was totally beached out and had sand in all my pockets and between my toes. I was happy to shower and do laundry and not think about going to the beach for a while.
Then I was informed that the office was "wondering where I was" at another meeting. Damnit! Turns out theres another trip to the beach this weekend! This time, however, I was actually asked to come, in that it was actually aknowledged that my help the last time was a good thing and they would like me to be there again this time. And my counterpart person actually said, "Well, if you dont come, who will do the dinamicas?" And I thought to myself, hmmm, that sounds familiar...So back to the beach I go. The theme this weekend is the media. I dont really know where we are going with that but I am interested to see where it takes us. In my opinion, the media here seems to be more interested in The 3 D's: Death and Double D boobs. Front page news almost always includes a picture of a bloodly corpse and a half naked lady. I am interested in what will be said over the weekend, because I have heard that people here dont find it at all strange, gross or disrespectful. Hopefully my bus partner this time will be more enthusiastic to share a seat with me, hopefully I will mirror this sentiment. Although probably not because we have to leave downtown at 6am....yeah, I'm NOT a morning person.
..................................
In other news, things out in the barrio have been good. I want to tell you a little story about what happened at a charla today.
I am giving a 6 week series of charlas on Communication and Self Esteem to the Mujeres de Lucha. We started two weeks ago, took last week off because it was Holy Week, and had the second charla today.
This week's theme was Group Communication and Teamwork. We did an activity that demonstrated how multifaceted groups (like the Mujeres who work in three different areas, but still have one unified goal) can be especially difficult because members get focused on their area and ignore whats going on in the other areas. Then we discussed why, in general, it can be hard to work as part of a team (like everyone is different and has their own ideas on the best way of going about things, sometimes not everyone is motivated to work, etc.), and discussed why its important to acknowledge both postive and negative sides of group work. And that doing this does not mean that you are being a negative-minded person. We discussed how in communicating with other team members you must do so in the manner that works best for them, not just what works for you (you know "meet em where they're at" kind of thing). Then we did an activity to demonstrate why when working as a team its necessary to plan well and involve all members in the plan and discussion.
Then one of the Mujeres asked of what one should do when they have a conflict with another person in the group? So we talked about how in conflict resolution with team members you should speak directly and clearly with the person that you have a problem with (rather than complaining to all the other members of the group), but do so in a way that makes it clear that its not the PERSON that is the problem, rather the actions of that person. Then she asked what if someone has a problem with me, but they go around and tell everyone else and not me, what should I do? (by the way, yes: this is directly related to an ongoing problem between two members of the group. My goal for my two years is to get these two members to sit down ant talk to eachother) So we talked about "treating others the way you want to be treated" ie if you want them to talk directly with you, then you should demonstrate this by talking directly with them. What if I already did that? Well, change takes time so keep doing it. Then we talked about ways that we can improve communication within the Mujeres de Lucha. We ended with each person making a promise to help someone else in their work area (for instance, the person who cooks in the lunch program promised that she would spend time helping in the store when it got busy), and agreed that we would do these things in the next 7 days and check progress at next week's charla.
So after this wonderful lemon-scented charla on communication, it came up that the Mujeres really enjoy doing charlas with me because they are fun and interactive yet they also feel like theyre getting something out of it. Although I am not from the barrio--I am an outsider coming in to help--they feel like they can trust me and talk openly with me about whatever is going on. They dont, however, feel this way about another "outsider" who assists them and is also currently giving charlas to them (although they do acknowledge that her help is really good and totally necessary to the progress of the group). I was so excited (and no, not just because I am selfish and glad that they like my charlas) because I saw this as the perfect opportunity to demonstrate what we just learned. I asked what could be done to communicate this to the other person? If the charlas with her arent speaking to them, they should explain this (like we agreed, conflicts with group members are best addressed when taken on clearly and directly). "Oh, no, Tere, we cant do that! That would hurt her feelings." We talked this one out for quite some time, I held my ground that the best approach was to just tell her how they felt; they held their ground that the best way was to suck it up, go to the charlas and try to like it.
So I guess with that my own lesson was staring me right back in the face. Change takes time, so keep trying.
Hasta luego my friends!
Theresa
Thursday, March 20, 2008
New Thoughts and New Pictures...
But all I have to share at this time are the pictures. Ive spent the last several hours (and SEVERAL dollars) uploading new pictures to my Shutterfly account. Just so that you can look at them! (well, that and so that i can safely delete them from my camera, but yeah, its all about YOU baby!).
There are pictures of work that I am doing out in the barrio: picutres of the Mujeres de Lucha, Art Class with the kids, Kids eating in the Lunch Program, etc. Check em out because they are super cute and super fun!
Okay, promise my thoughts will be coming soon...like, maybe tomorrow because I dont have to work.
Besos,
Theresa
There are pictures of work that I am doing out in the barrio: picutres of the Mujeres de Lucha, Art Class with the kids, Kids eating in the Lunch Program, etc. Check em out because they are super cute and super fun!
Okay, promise my thoughts will be coming soon...like, maybe tomorrow because I dont have to work.
Besos,
Theresa
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