Hey, just a quick note to say that I am still alive. Appearantly there was an earthquake in Lima, Peru, and there was warning of a tsunami here in Ecaudor last night. I am in Guayaquil, right on the coast. In fact, at the time of the warning, I was on the Malecon, which is right on the water. We had to leave the Malecon for safety (and go to our hotel which is about 5 blocks away...appearantly the tsunami wouldnt reach us there...???). By the time we got to the hotel, the warning had been cancelled.
Doing just fine, super pumped about training being over and getting to be a real volunteer!
More later, folks.
Amor,
Theresa
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Turn it Around
(Quick side note: I have had a few people email me about not making comments because of needing a password or account or whatever. I didnt know that was required, I have changed the setting so that it shouldnt be anymore. If the problem continues, let me know, and I will use my sweet gigabyte skills to fix it some more...)
So, just wanted to make a quick note that I am feeling a bit better now. Still not feeling the major excitement about moving to Guayaquil, but still definately feeling encouraged by the radness of my counterpart agency. On the upside, my PC Program Manager understands my concerns (I think, we didnt really talk it out, but I think she knows) and already has plans to be in Guayaquil next week and has a place to look at for me to live. So thats good. Guess who else has plans to be in Guayaquil next week? Me! Yeah, I have a Technical Trip next week, and its in Guayaquil. At first, I was like WTF, why am I going on a trip there when I have to live there? I really want to get out and see more of what this country has to offer! But, on the up side (and I think this is what PC is going for), its good for me to go back and see more of what Guayaquil has to offer. Really, its not that bad. Maybe I am being a little bit of a whiney b!tch about the whole thing and I just need to buck up and grow up.
So I was working on changing my attitude, and feeling less crabby. But then we were having a stress managment workshop (I'll give you 3 guesses at home much Theresa liked to sit in a circle and talk about feelings) and the girl who got assigned to Mascarilla (the site I was most interested in, in case you forgot) said that she felt stress at her site visit when her counterpart told her they wanted someone else. "Ohhh, damn!" we all said, that would suck. Then she turns to me and says, "Yeah, Theresa, they wanted you." WTF!!! Half of me felt super flattered and it was great, the other half felt RAAAARRRR! Why if I wanted them and they wanted me did it not work out? This feels like a messed up love triange! I am getting the feeling that I am going to Guayaquil because I am not some party chick, and they are worried about that. That sucks for me. Being myself got me the city I didnt want. But then I think, remember back, Theresa. Remember back when you signed up for PC, when you got your wisdom teeth pulled for no real reason and ate Jell-O for a week, when you had vile upon vile of blood pulled from your arm because you need to be screed for the HepBc antibody not the HepBs antibody, remember all that? Remember why you are doing this, and stop your b!tching! So that is what I am going to try to do. The barrios seem great, the people seem to want me there, and my counterpart seems amazing. I am going to do my best to focus on that (and the fact that I should have a safe place to live when I return, thats not bad, either).
What else? My Youth and Families group nominated me to speak at Swearing In Ceremony! Pretty flattering, pretty big deal, its at the Ambassador´s House and everything. Did I ever mention that I was picked to eat lunch with the Ambassador a few weeks back? I dont remember, but in case I didnt, it was cool. 6 of us were picked (by staff) to go, and we got to eat really delicious food that we could never afford otherwise. It was fun. And I got to wear a dress, bonus!
Oh! Yesterday on the bus I had a relatively extensive conversation with some girls (age 9 and 11 if I recall correctly) about life in the United States. They had seen the movies Resident Evil and Resident Evil 2, and then basically formed their entire concept of the States around those movies. I dont think that they believed me when I told them that there are not zombies roaming around the streets trying to kill people. They also thought that the news they heard about September 11th was all made up. Granted, they were 9 and 11, but still. Thats a pretty bad concept to have of the States. And on my site visit, I had a heated conversation with a guy (age 21-24ish I think) who is CONVINCED that all black people in the States have guns, are mean and kill each other. Even my pointing out that I am a black person from the States who is not any of these things (well, maybe a little mean, but I think he was talking like "Cap in your ass" mean), I still couldnt get him to believe me that we are not all like that. He was like, "No, I have friends who have gone to the States, and they told me!" The conversation ended with friendly smiles and him giving me the "Pffft, Crazy Gringa" look, but luckly he lives in one of the barrios where I will work, so maybe with time I will get him to change his mind a bit about us black folk in the USA.
Anyhow, lesson learned? A. Dont complain so much. Its not fun to listen to people complain, and no one wants to hear it from me either. Lesson for you all? I know this sounds stupid, but I think it really does matter. When you have contact with people from other countries (really just people in general), please keep in mind that you are creating a stereotype for them. Whether you are trying to or not, whether you like it or not, you are. No one likes to admit that they form stereotypes, but we all do it. When we are unfamiliar with something, we turn to our models of those things to form our opinions about it. And whether you like it or not, you are a model for Americans, for college students, for doctors, for social workers, for therapists, for women, for men, for whatever. So think about what stereotypes you are setting for the people who are watching you.
...Oh yeah, and watch out for zombies.
Paz Afuera! (Peace Out!)
Theresa
PS. I finally talked to my big sister today, and she asked me to be the Maid of Honor in her wedding! Wooohoooo!
So, just wanted to make a quick note that I am feeling a bit better now. Still not feeling the major excitement about moving to Guayaquil, but still definately feeling encouraged by the radness of my counterpart agency. On the upside, my PC Program Manager understands my concerns (I think, we didnt really talk it out, but I think she knows) and already has plans to be in Guayaquil next week and has a place to look at for me to live. So thats good. Guess who else has plans to be in Guayaquil next week? Me! Yeah, I have a Technical Trip next week, and its in Guayaquil. At first, I was like WTF, why am I going on a trip there when I have to live there? I really want to get out and see more of what this country has to offer! But, on the up side (and I think this is what PC is going for), its good for me to go back and see more of what Guayaquil has to offer. Really, its not that bad. Maybe I am being a little bit of a whiney b!tch about the whole thing and I just need to buck up and grow up.
So I was working on changing my attitude, and feeling less crabby. But then we were having a stress managment workshop (I'll give you 3 guesses at home much Theresa liked to sit in a circle and talk about feelings) and the girl who got assigned to Mascarilla (the site I was most interested in, in case you forgot) said that she felt stress at her site visit when her counterpart told her they wanted someone else. "Ohhh, damn!" we all said, that would suck. Then she turns to me and says, "Yeah, Theresa, they wanted you." WTF!!! Half of me felt super flattered and it was great, the other half felt RAAAARRRR! Why if I wanted them and they wanted me did it not work out? This feels like a messed up love triange! I am getting the feeling that I am going to Guayaquil because I am not some party chick, and they are worried about that. That sucks for me. Being myself got me the city I didnt want. But then I think, remember back, Theresa. Remember back when you signed up for PC, when you got your wisdom teeth pulled for no real reason and ate Jell-O for a week, when you had vile upon vile of blood pulled from your arm because you need to be screed for the HepBc antibody not the HepBs antibody, remember all that? Remember why you are doing this, and stop your b!tching! So that is what I am going to try to do. The barrios seem great, the people seem to want me there, and my counterpart seems amazing. I am going to do my best to focus on that (and the fact that I should have a safe place to live when I return, thats not bad, either).
What else? My Youth and Families group nominated me to speak at Swearing In Ceremony! Pretty flattering, pretty big deal, its at the Ambassador´s House and everything. Did I ever mention that I was picked to eat lunch with the Ambassador a few weeks back? I dont remember, but in case I didnt, it was cool. 6 of us were picked (by staff) to go, and we got to eat really delicious food that we could never afford otherwise. It was fun. And I got to wear a dress, bonus!
Oh! Yesterday on the bus I had a relatively extensive conversation with some girls (age 9 and 11 if I recall correctly) about life in the United States. They had seen the movies Resident Evil and Resident Evil 2, and then basically formed their entire concept of the States around those movies. I dont think that they believed me when I told them that there are not zombies roaming around the streets trying to kill people. They also thought that the news they heard about September 11th was all made up. Granted, they were 9 and 11, but still. Thats a pretty bad concept to have of the States. And on my site visit, I had a heated conversation with a guy (age 21-24ish I think) who is CONVINCED that all black people in the States have guns, are mean and kill each other. Even my pointing out that I am a black person from the States who is not any of these things (well, maybe a little mean, but I think he was talking like "Cap in your ass" mean), I still couldnt get him to believe me that we are not all like that. He was like, "No, I have friends who have gone to the States, and they told me!" The conversation ended with friendly smiles and him giving me the "Pffft, Crazy Gringa" look, but luckly he lives in one of the barrios where I will work, so maybe with time I will get him to change his mind a bit about us black folk in the USA.
Anyhow, lesson learned? A. Dont complain so much. Its not fun to listen to people complain, and no one wants to hear it from me either. Lesson for you all? I know this sounds stupid, but I think it really does matter. When you have contact with people from other countries (really just people in general), please keep in mind that you are creating a stereotype for them. Whether you are trying to or not, whether you like it or not, you are. No one likes to admit that they form stereotypes, but we all do it. When we are unfamiliar with something, we turn to our models of those things to form our opinions about it. And whether you like it or not, you are a model for Americans, for college students, for doctors, for social workers, for therapists, for women, for men, for whatever. So think about what stereotypes you are setting for the people who are watching you.
...Oh yeah, and watch out for zombies.
Paz Afuera! (Peace Out!)
Theresa
PS. I finally talked to my big sister today, and she asked me to be the Maid of Honor in her wedding! Wooohoooo!
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Se Aquila...
So for the last week, I was in the crazyily large, incredibly overwhelming city of Guayaquil, Ecuador. I am going to make every effort not to sound crabby in this blog entry, because I dont want to look back at it later and wish that I had had a better attitude. I will say this, Guayaquil is certainly not what I imagined when I signed up for Peace Corps.
Lets start at the begining. Saturday I bussed out to Quito with my family for a birthday party. I spent a great afternoon eating chevice (a sprimp soup concoction that you put popcorn and dried bananas into for extra deliciousness) and running around playing tag with my host brother and cousins. I then took a cab to the Peace Corps Office to meet up with some other girls who were heading out for their site visits at the same time as I was. I learned 3 important things in Quito:
1. You are not expected to tip taxi cab drivers. (.50 wasted, but he was a nice guy, so its okay)
2. The PC office has free internet for PCVs and PCTs. Incredibly important.
3. Papa Johns is just as delicious in Ecuador as it is in the States. Oh man, do I love garlic butter sauce!
Allison, another PCT, and I got out to the bus station around 9pm to take the 11:10pm bus. The bus ride was fine for the most part, I slept most of the time. Around 6am the bus stopped. I wondered if were were in Guayaquil...it didnt look like a large city...no, we were not in Guayaquil. We were in some random town and the bus was broken. We were all then ushered onto a new bus (which already had some people on it, so not everyone had a place to sit). But wait, my bag! Its under the first bus..."No se preocupe..." (dont worry) they say, they will transfer our bags onto the next bus that comes. Why not onto the bus that we are on?, who knows, welcome to Ecuador. 6am, I am sleeping, hazy headed, knowing its probably not the best idea to leave without my bag, but....sit outside in random town and wait for the next bus or worry about it later. I´m gonna go with worry about it later. So I got on the bus, soothed myself with some gpod music, and fell back asleep until we got into Guayaquil. It is now about 9:30AM (thats right, we were on the bus for about 10 hours!).
Okay, so one task down, we are safely in Guayaquil. Minus my bag (which contains all of my clothes, my toothbrush, basically my entire life...what the hell was I thinking leaving it behind?!?!), but thats okay. The bus attendant says they will be there at 10AM. Riiight, I wouldnt belive that in the States, so I certainly dont believe it here. I´m thinking we can check back around noon, in the meantime, we moved onto task two: calling the current PCVs to come pick us up. Well, after looking like some fools at the payphone that we couldnt figure out how to operate, we successfully called them and got picked up. Everything from there was smooth sailing, my bags came in around 7 or 8PM, nothing was missing, no harm no foul.
Jenny was the PCV I was assigned to spend time with in Guayaquil. She is super cool! She´s from LA, but she´s been in Guayaquil for the last year. She works on a bunch of different projects, including some early-childhood development work at a daycare, gender equality rights workshops with teens, a teen theater group, a women´s rights group, and an LGBT group. One afternoon, we went to the Malecón 2000 in Guayaquil, it was beautiful! Its basically this huge waterfront park that appearantly used to be a dump but has been totally redone to beauty! We climbed up 444 steps to get to the top of the city, and then another 56 steps to get to the top of a lookout point where we could basically see the whole city. It was great. (of course, we took lots of breaks, Theresa is still too gordita for all that).
Tuesday AM I was a big girl and got on the city bus all by myself and successfully arrived at my counterpart´s office. My counterpart´s name is Nelly, shes about the same age as I am and super pillas (slang for energized, but actually directly translates to batteries) and very smart. We are getting along really well, so that is very good. I will also be working closely with Miguel Angel at the Fund. AfroAmerica XXI. Hes a cool guy, self proclaimed hippie.
To sum up the week: there is another volunteer from Canda with AFS who started on the same day as I did (Nadene). We spent some time at a youth leadership conference...overall not very interesting, I am not sure that the youth were really paying attention, it was hard for me to follow and made my brain tired to translate all the Spanish. However, I did meet some super cool ladies from Minnesota/Wisconsin who come to Ecuador every year and help women with artisan crafts that they then sell in the states and send the profit back here to Ecuador. First week and already networking, pretty much I rock at life. The rest of the time I spent visiting the different barrios (neighborhoods) that I will be working in (and chilling in the office with free internet, oh yeah!). There are 4 barrios in total, but 6 communities (2 barrios have 2 communities each, then 1 each in the remaining 2 barrios). To describe the barrios as "low income neighborhoods" would be the understatement of the year. The roads are almost all dirt roads, and the homes are sturdy enough, but essentially made of bamboo like material, plywood and sheet metal. It is not uncommon to see kids running around without shoes on, dogs roam the streets doing their deeds everywhere, garbage is accumulated in every direction. I love it! Basically, the barrios are my favorite part about having to live in this city. I go there and I just see so much potential! The people are shy with me because they dont know me, but when we get together in smaller groups, I can tell that they are super pillas, they've got ideas, they've got vision, they are looking to me for a way to put that into action. My job duties (at this time) include training to prometores (community leaders/contact people) on organizational and community development; supporting the currently existing community groups in their activities; supporting the development of community groups that are less developed; educating local youth on HIV/AIDS prevention; working on including male community members in the development process; and supporting the organization in soliciting support from the municipo (city gov´t) for projects they are working on. Pretty much, I am stoked about my job. I have met a bunch of the community leaders and am working out a schedule for getting out to their barrios for their meetings when I return to site in September.
Sounds like I love Guayaquil, huh? Well, I wouldnt go that far. The job is cool, but thats about all that I am feeling good about. The housing that has been arranged for me in Guayaquil is, well, its not okay. I dont want to get into all the details, but its not going to work out. Dont worry about me, I am safe, I am fine, I am just not happy with it at all. And I am kind of disappointed and frustrated with that right now, but I am confident itll work out. I took pictures, prepared my argument for why the conditions are not in accordance with safety&security or health guidelines, and I have found alternatives to provide to staff for approval so that I can move when I get back. I think that my constant worries about housing and not wanting to go back to my house put a dark cloud over my week. Its basic Maslow's heirarchy of needs, I cannot do this selfless giving of my self stuff (which is like level 5 or 6 or something) when I am worried about my level one basic need for safe food, shelter and water access. I spent the whole week frantically and worrriedly looking for signs that said "Se Aquila" (for rent); it was pretty much all I could think about it. The only time I stopped thinking about it was when I was out in the barrios getting to know the gente (people).
Overall, I am still really stugging with the city concept. I dont like cities, I cannot help it, it has been engrained in me to live in the suburbs. If that makes me a snob, then sign me up for the snob listserv and call me a snob. Besides that, I didnt picture myself in a city at all when I signed up for the Peace Corps. I know that in the begining I kept saying that its the job that matters, not the place that I am, but I am eating those words now. I have no concept of living in a big city. Everyone walks too fast, its bad to make eye contact with people, you cant talk to random people on the street because they might rob you, I have to be home before dark because I live downtown and its dangerous at night, I am having to learn to ride the bus (without the convenience of a bus route map, cuz it doesnt exist in Guayaquil), and the real kicker, all of this is in Spanish. I thought that my Spanish was getting better, but its a whole other ball game to talk to locals on the coast who talk super fast. I blend in physically, but once I open my mouth, everyone knows I am not from around here (or thinks I am kind of delayed maybe...?). I am worried about making friends in this huge city. I am worried about my safety (and I am not being paranoid, in the last year volunteers were robbed at gunpoint during the nighttime next door to my office and in front of my house). I am just worried. I should stop this now, though, because its a bad idea for me to start crying at the internet cafe.
The upside? Given that everyone walks so fast, and there is no where me to cook in my house, chances are I will be loosing some weight. Keep your head up, kids; and I will do the same. When things are super sh!tty, they can only get better, right?
Love and miss you all,
Theresa
Lets start at the begining. Saturday I bussed out to Quito with my family for a birthday party. I spent a great afternoon eating chevice (a sprimp soup concoction that you put popcorn and dried bananas into for extra deliciousness) and running around playing tag with my host brother and cousins. I then took a cab to the Peace Corps Office to meet up with some other girls who were heading out for their site visits at the same time as I was. I learned 3 important things in Quito:
1. You are not expected to tip taxi cab drivers. (.50 wasted, but he was a nice guy, so its okay)
2. The PC office has free internet for PCVs and PCTs. Incredibly important.
3. Papa Johns is just as delicious in Ecuador as it is in the States. Oh man, do I love garlic butter sauce!
Allison, another PCT, and I got out to the bus station around 9pm to take the 11:10pm bus. The bus ride was fine for the most part, I slept most of the time. Around 6am the bus stopped. I wondered if were were in Guayaquil...it didnt look like a large city...no, we were not in Guayaquil. We were in some random town and the bus was broken. We were all then ushered onto a new bus (which already had some people on it, so not everyone had a place to sit). But wait, my bag! Its under the first bus..."No se preocupe..." (dont worry) they say, they will transfer our bags onto the next bus that comes. Why not onto the bus that we are on?, who knows, welcome to Ecuador. 6am, I am sleeping, hazy headed, knowing its probably not the best idea to leave without my bag, but....sit outside in random town and wait for the next bus or worry about it later. I´m gonna go with worry about it later. So I got on the bus, soothed myself with some gpod music, and fell back asleep until we got into Guayaquil. It is now about 9:30AM (thats right, we were on the bus for about 10 hours!).
Okay, so one task down, we are safely in Guayaquil. Minus my bag (which contains all of my clothes, my toothbrush, basically my entire life...what the hell was I thinking leaving it behind?!?!), but thats okay. The bus attendant says they will be there at 10AM. Riiight, I wouldnt belive that in the States, so I certainly dont believe it here. I´m thinking we can check back around noon, in the meantime, we moved onto task two: calling the current PCVs to come pick us up. Well, after looking like some fools at the payphone that we couldnt figure out how to operate, we successfully called them and got picked up. Everything from there was smooth sailing, my bags came in around 7 or 8PM, nothing was missing, no harm no foul.
Jenny was the PCV I was assigned to spend time with in Guayaquil. She is super cool! She´s from LA, but she´s been in Guayaquil for the last year. She works on a bunch of different projects, including some early-childhood development work at a daycare, gender equality rights workshops with teens, a teen theater group, a women´s rights group, and an LGBT group. One afternoon, we went to the Malecón 2000 in Guayaquil, it was beautiful! Its basically this huge waterfront park that appearantly used to be a dump but has been totally redone to beauty! We climbed up 444 steps to get to the top of the city, and then another 56 steps to get to the top of a lookout point where we could basically see the whole city. It was great. (of course, we took lots of breaks, Theresa is still too gordita for all that).
Tuesday AM I was a big girl and got on the city bus all by myself and successfully arrived at my counterpart´s office. My counterpart´s name is Nelly, shes about the same age as I am and super pillas (slang for energized, but actually directly translates to batteries) and very smart. We are getting along really well, so that is very good. I will also be working closely with Miguel Angel at the Fund. AfroAmerica XXI. Hes a cool guy, self proclaimed hippie.
To sum up the week: there is another volunteer from Canda with AFS who started on the same day as I did (Nadene). We spent some time at a youth leadership conference...overall not very interesting, I am not sure that the youth were really paying attention, it was hard for me to follow and made my brain tired to translate all the Spanish. However, I did meet some super cool ladies from Minnesota/Wisconsin who come to Ecuador every year and help women with artisan crafts that they then sell in the states and send the profit back here to Ecuador. First week and already networking, pretty much I rock at life. The rest of the time I spent visiting the different barrios (neighborhoods) that I will be working in (and chilling in the office with free internet, oh yeah!). There are 4 barrios in total, but 6 communities (2 barrios have 2 communities each, then 1 each in the remaining 2 barrios). To describe the barrios as "low income neighborhoods" would be the understatement of the year. The roads are almost all dirt roads, and the homes are sturdy enough, but essentially made of bamboo like material, plywood and sheet metal. It is not uncommon to see kids running around without shoes on, dogs roam the streets doing their deeds everywhere, garbage is accumulated in every direction. I love it! Basically, the barrios are my favorite part about having to live in this city. I go there and I just see so much potential! The people are shy with me because they dont know me, but when we get together in smaller groups, I can tell that they are super pillas, they've got ideas, they've got vision, they are looking to me for a way to put that into action. My job duties (at this time) include training to prometores (community leaders/contact people) on organizational and community development; supporting the currently existing community groups in their activities; supporting the development of community groups that are less developed; educating local youth on HIV/AIDS prevention; working on including male community members in the development process; and supporting the organization in soliciting support from the municipo (city gov´t) for projects they are working on. Pretty much, I am stoked about my job. I have met a bunch of the community leaders and am working out a schedule for getting out to their barrios for their meetings when I return to site in September.
Sounds like I love Guayaquil, huh? Well, I wouldnt go that far. The job is cool, but thats about all that I am feeling good about. The housing that has been arranged for me in Guayaquil is, well, its not okay. I dont want to get into all the details, but its not going to work out. Dont worry about me, I am safe, I am fine, I am just not happy with it at all. And I am kind of disappointed and frustrated with that right now, but I am confident itll work out. I took pictures, prepared my argument for why the conditions are not in accordance with safety&security or health guidelines, and I have found alternatives to provide to staff for approval so that I can move when I get back. I think that my constant worries about housing and not wanting to go back to my house put a dark cloud over my week. Its basic Maslow's heirarchy of needs, I cannot do this selfless giving of my self stuff (which is like level 5 or 6 or something) when I am worried about my level one basic need for safe food, shelter and water access. I spent the whole week frantically and worrriedly looking for signs that said "Se Aquila" (for rent); it was pretty much all I could think about it. The only time I stopped thinking about it was when I was out in the barrios getting to know the gente (people).
Overall, I am still really stugging with the city concept. I dont like cities, I cannot help it, it has been engrained in me to live in the suburbs. If that makes me a snob, then sign me up for the snob listserv and call me a snob. Besides that, I didnt picture myself in a city at all when I signed up for the Peace Corps. I know that in the begining I kept saying that its the job that matters, not the place that I am, but I am eating those words now. I have no concept of living in a big city. Everyone walks too fast, its bad to make eye contact with people, you cant talk to random people on the street because they might rob you, I have to be home before dark because I live downtown and its dangerous at night, I am having to learn to ride the bus (without the convenience of a bus route map, cuz it doesnt exist in Guayaquil), and the real kicker, all of this is in Spanish. I thought that my Spanish was getting better, but its a whole other ball game to talk to locals on the coast who talk super fast. I blend in physically, but once I open my mouth, everyone knows I am not from around here (or thinks I am kind of delayed maybe...?). I am worried about making friends in this huge city. I am worried about my safety (and I am not being paranoid, in the last year volunteers were robbed at gunpoint during the nighttime next door to my office and in front of my house). I am just worried. I should stop this now, though, because its a bad idea for me to start crying at the internet cafe.
The upside? Given that everyone walks so fast, and there is no where me to cook in my house, chances are I will be loosing some weight. Keep your head up, kids; and I will do the same. When things are super sh!tty, they can only get better, right?
Love and miss you all,
Theresa
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